Back in 2001, as a stay-at-home mother of a new baby boy, I sat down at my computer one day and compiled a list of all the amazing things I had learned so far as a mother. I entitled it "Mommy Wisdom". I felt certain that I had things all figured out and was happy to share my new-found knowledge with anyone who would listen.
Now, eleven years and four additional children later, I realize how naive I was. Motherhood is a work in progress, and I will never know all there is to know. And even if I manage to figure things out for one child, the next one is guaranteed to be completely different. That being said, I have learned a lot over the years and thought it would be entertaining to share my version of the ups and downs of motherhood with the world.
I am 33 years old, and have five children with my husband of 13 years. I decided to give the kids nicknames here for privacy. My oldest son, Energy, is 11. My second son, Mellow, is 9. Next I have two daughters: Bright is 7 and Plucky is 4. Caboose, my baby boy, is fifteen months old.
Just for fun, I have consolidated my original Mommy Wisdom list into a 'Top Ten' and written a similar list based on my knowledge at present. Both are included below. Enjoy!
Mommy Wisdom 2001
10
Don't take Nyquil at night and expect to be fully functional the next morning. In fact, any medicine that requires a full nights sleep should be tossed now because you won't be able to use it until your kids go to college.
9
Baby can and will turn off the computer while you're working on it, so be sure to save frequently.
8
Baby's favorite trick is to pee when you take his diaper off.
7
Baby will always spit up the moment you stop patting his back and remove the burp cloth from your shoulder
6
Daddies possess the amazing ability to sleep soundly through a baby crying in the middle of the night. The super-human power has been so honed throughout the centuries that he will often wake up in the morning and exclaim in surprise, 'Wow, the baby slept all night!'
5
The actual labor part of having a baby is nowhere near as bad as the nine months preceding and the two weeks following giving birth.
4
Letting baby cry it out is much easier said than done, especially in a tiny apartment with paper-thin walls.
3
Baby will head for the phone, cable, or power cords and prefers playing with these over his own toys any day. In the absence of cords, a remote control will suffice.
2
It's fun watching baby learn that he can't pick up the sunbeams he sees on the floor near his window.
1
After a few weeks of sleepless nights, your body will adjust and you will realize that baby is just as cute at 3:00 am as he is during the day, and the time you have to spend with him in the dead of night is precious and fleeting. (Although this one is true, I have tested it now on five different occasions and I have never been able to accept it as such until baby is consistently sleeping through the night and the midnight feedings are a thing of the past).
Mommy Wisdom 2012
10
The moment you think you have things all figured out is the moment one of your children will kindly point out just how far off you actually are.
9
Kids say the BEST things, but don't assume you will remember them. Always write them down. Memory loss come with the territory.
8
Your ability to form a coherent sentence decreases exponentially as the number of children living in your home increases, until all too soon you find yourself babbling like an idiot several times a day.
7
When you don't know what the right answer is, having a Magic 8 ball around never hurts.
6
Sometimes there is no right answer, but you have to pick one anyway and stick to it. Trust your gut.
5
Before you decide to 'bend the rules' for the day, keep in mind that kids have excellent memories and will be imploring you to bend the rules again starting the very next day and lasting until the end of time.
4
Children have an amazing capacity to forgive perceived injustices and forget them by the next day (although for some reason the forgetting part does not hold true when it comes to bending the rules, as mentioned in number 5). Often all they need is a good nights' sleep before you become their favorite person all over again. (Please note that this may not hold true for teenagers, as that is still uncharted territory for me).
3
No matter what went down during the day, watching your kids sleep is still the best medicine ever, no matter how old they get. Oh, and just for good measure, always be ready with your camera in case any good blackmail material presents itself in the process.
2
Kids love their moms, but at the end of the day, it's daddy all the way. (I'm hoping this one will change when they go to college and realize just how much I do for them.)
1
The notion that the more kids you have, the harder it is to love them all, is a complete fallacy. The truth is, with every child you invite into your home, your capacity to love grows and your heart effortlessly expands to include them all. They are each my favorite.
Energy, Mellow, Bright, Plucky and Caboose, I love you all!
