The Unbreakable Rule

I recently had a birthday. To celebrate I decided to allow myself a day off from my diet, and I planned my splurging as follows: We would order Chinese food from my favorite place, eat chocolate cake for dessert, and it would be absolutely fabulous. However, since my birthday was on a weekday when my kids have an assortment of extra activities preventing us from doing anything truly fun, I decided to extend my self-sanctioned diet destruction to the weekend before my birthday as well. So on Thursday night, in preparation for my "free weekend" I purchased one gallon of chocolate ice cream, a container of candy mix-ins to go with it, and a bag of chocolate chips so we could make my favorite chocolate chip cookies. What better way to celebrate than with an overabundance of chocolate, right?

The problem was, once I had the treats in my house, I couldn't wait to consume them. So I began my eating cheating on Friday morning. By Monday, my treats were all gone (including the entire batch of chocolate chip cookies, though my kids did help me eat those). Since it still wasn't my birthday yet, I decided I needed to buy more treats. I went back to the store and purchased a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, a package of chocolate Double-Stuf Oreos, and (since I knew my kids would want some too) a package of regular Double-Stuf Oreos.

Plus the previously agreed upon chocolate cake.

And some ice cream to go with it since you can't have cake without ice cream.

Obviously.

Okay, so you get the point. I went all out, making sure I had all the forbidden items I secretly crave but usually resist buying because I know how bad they are and I know I can't stop eating them at a reasonable point. I justified my splurges by telling myself I deserved it for my special day. I was really hoping that, just for one day (plus several more on either end of said day), I could break the rules and get away with it; that the rules governing overeating would somehow not apply since I deserved it. After all, I should be allowed to eat myself silly without getting sick or gaining weight afterwards if I have a good reason. That should be permitted on your birthday, right??

Unfortunately, the universe didn't agree. By the time my birthday actually rolled around I was so sick that I didn't even feel like eating birthday cake after dinner (which, if you'll remember--was the single treat I had originally agreed to allow myself). I ended my fabulously anticipated birthday by falling into a sugar-induced coma sleep, complete with a massive tummy-ache, at 9:00 pm. If you know me at all, you know that I NEVER go to bed that early, since I see it as a shameless waste of quiet time.

This past week has taught me that the universe does not bend the rules, even on my birthday or when I feel I really deserve it. It's laws are absolute, no matter what.

So why am I sharing this embarrassing story with you? Because it was a good reminder for me that, as co-law-giver in our family, I should take a lesson from the universe when it comes to enforcing the rules in our home. First, I need to be careful about which rules I set to begin with. If I'm not fully committed, they won't last. Then I need to be ready to defend them when my minions put up a fight. Kids need to know what to expect, and that there are consequences for breaking the rules. What better place to learn this than in the home when the stakes are relatively low?

I learned the sticking-up-for-your-own-rules lesson the hard way one winter, when I agreed to let the kids bend the rules on screen time after school one day. I was engrossed in a book (okay, I'll admit it--it was probably Twilight). I didn't want to put it down when the bus pulled up, so I agreed to let the kids watch a movie (even though we had a strict "no screens after school" policy), saying we could maybe "bend the rules" for the day. Just for the record, this was a BAD IDEA! Never, ever tell your kids that bending the rules is an option. Suffice it to say, I never lived it down. I spent the entire rest of the year explaining over and over and over and over and over and over (you get the idea) why we couldn't bend the rules again.

So, though I still think we should all be allowed to eat whatever we want to on our birthdays without consequence, I also believe that the universe was created in a way that would teach us certain valuable lessons. If I'm still fighting, even as an adult, against the idea that some rules are un-bendable, then it must be a hard lesson to learn.

I'd better get started on teaching it to my kids.