My Life as a Twitter Feed

We are two weeks into the summer and it seems I should have scheduled myself some blogging time. Or any alone time, for that matter. In regards to keeping the peace in our home, my ambitious schedule is working marvelously. It's encouraging me to plan activities that get us out of the house so we can enjoy our time together. But there is no one time of the day when all five children are equally engaged.

During morning screen time, Caboose (who has not yet developed the deep love of screens that his siblings have) needs attention. During reading time while Caboose is napping, Plucky (who is just reading words like 'the', 'and', and 'it') needs attention. When reading time ends, Energy (who is too old, apparently, to use his imagination for entertainment as his younger siblings can) requires attention. And then it's time for me to make dinner. The madness really never ends.

So now I'm back where I was several months ago, trying to figure out how to obtain a time turner so I can have a small measure of peace during the day. Additionally, I've found that nights no longer hold the guaranteed down-time I have long depended on. Since we are so busy during the day, night time is when I either fold laundry, go grocery shopping, or collapse into an exhausted heap on my bed.

Despite my best efforts to come up with a clever solution, there seems to be nothing I can do about it. So perhaps laughing will help. I've collected a series of tweets that popped into my head this past week and am posting them here for your reading entertainment. They were never actually tweeted, of course, since I no longer have time to sit down at my computer during the day. Hopefully I'll be able to look back at them later and smile.

In the meantime, I'm doing my best to enjoy the summer and the extra time I have to spend with my kids. Silence is a luxury that will have to wait until fall.

Worst words to hear first thing in the morning: "Mom, the toilet is overflowing again." #sonotfun

I finally discovered where all lost things go: under my ten-year-old's bed. #cleaning

Living with five kids is really quite simple. Just learn to tune out the screaming. #TheNewWhiteNoise

You know you have too many kids when you fill not one, but two, full-sized Costco shopping carts on a regular basis. #hungrykids

My pre-teen's verbal loop: "I'm bored. I'm hungry. Can we go home? I like pi." Repeated endlessly until sleep knocks him out.

My too-heavy purse is actually filled with rocks. Daughter collected them weeks ago and slipped them in for safe-keeping. #SurpriseDiscovery

Noise torture is a very real thing. #itstooloud

You know it's time for a break when going to the dentist feels like a vacation.

Speaking of the dentist, perhaps I should schedule myself an appointment. It is, after all, the busy-mom alternative to going to the spa. You get a cushy chair to kick back in, and you don't have to help anyone do anything for a whole hour. The experience is also enhanced when you close your eyes. Just try not to doze off.