It's a division problem. Using fruit. To solve it you are given one tiny, enigmatic clue in the bottom right hand corner. Okaaaay...
Once he finished solving it (with minimal help from me since I couldn't get much farther than figuring out the answer to the clue), he asked if I could make him some sample problems that were similar so he could practice for next time. I laughed and told him that I wasn't that smart, so sorry.
Later in the day I got to thinking about his request and wondered why it seemed so ridiculous. If I had enough time on my hands, I could probably come up with something meager to satisfy his request. Possibly not with a clever clue, but I think he just wanted help solving problems with tricky variables. And if my brain failed me, there is always the internet to turn to where I would most likely be able to find someone else who had the time and inclination to come up with tricky math problems for sixth graders that I could borrow. So why was I so quick to deny his request? Was it because the request was impossible? Or was it just because it was hard?
Thinking back over the years, I can recall several seemingly-impossible requests that I have hastily denied (somehow I don't think it's a coincidence that they have all come from the same child). One Halloween, Energy begged me to make him a Yoshi egg for his costume. He wanted it to look just like a real egg but with polka dots, be big enough that he could fit inside, and have the ability to open so he could sit on someone's front porch and then pop out when they answered the door. Yeah, I shot that one down pretty quickly.
He also begged me to give him permission to build a seven-story clubhouse in the backyard, complete with a ninja training studio on the top floor one summer and hounded me mercilessly when I said no. Additionally, I ixnayed the secret underground tunnel that he wanted to build (okay, Mellow was in on this idea as well) to connect their bedroom to a friend's bedroom who lives next door. Frankly, I blame Phineas and Ferb for giving my kids such crazy ideas and making them think they are attainable.
As a child, I don't ever recall having any lofty goals, with the possible exception of my desire to become a professional musician (a goal I quickly relinquished as soon as I became old enough to understand the mathematical improbability of it ever becoming a reality). I never tried to build a working spaceship, I never tried to dig a hole to China and I never tried to fly. I was always too practical for things like that. Sure, I had an imagination and did my fair share of playing in the backyard, but I never believed that I could make the impossible possible.
I am extraordinarily happy with the life I have led so far and the things I have accomplished, but still I wonder what would have happened if I had let myself believe that anything is possible.
Thinking of why I am hesitant to set lofty goals, I am struck by the idea that it's not the 'hard' that bothers me, rather it's the uncertainty of it. Obviously, I am okay with taking on things that are hard. I have five kids, after all. But there is a relatively simple formula to follow in taking care of them: feed them, bathe them, keep them safe, play with them, listen to them. Those are often hard things to do, but if I do them, I feel fairly confident that my goal of raising these kids will be attainable. It's the uncertainty of life's loftier endeavors that scares me and causes me not to even try.
So here's the question: is it wrong of me to discourage my children from trying to shoot for the stars by telling them that it's impossible? Am I doing them a disservice by trying to instill in them a healthy does of practicality? Perhaps these children are the ones who will be inventing things I never dreamed of several years down the road, but it won't happen if I squash their dreams with my never ending reality checks.
As a parent, how do you encourage your kids to dream big while still giving them the confidence to be okay if or when they fail and to not be afraid of trying again?
Maybe the first place to start is with me.
Tough question. I am the same way with setting lofty goals. I only want to put the effort in if I know the outcome of success is likely. Once in awhile (when you have more time to assist or when the endeavor doesn't require as much help from you) I would say encourage them to try. There will be learning in the process regardless of the outcome. Trying and failing builds character.
ReplyDeletewow! that's a hard one--I'm too much of a realist(which sometimes means I'm pesimitic rather than optimistic). Luckily I married an optimist! That's why I let dad deal with Ben building an airplane made out of wood in our backyard in Vacaville (I didn't want to just tell him flat out that it wouldn't fly). I like Allison's answer--even if they fail it will make them stronger.
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